7 tips to help managers make difficult conversations a more positive and productive experience

For all the positive aspects of managing people and overseeing their development, breaking bad news and broaching difficult conversations is an aspect of the role that can be especially challenging and unenjoyable.

In this article, one of our people development specialists, Jo Bristow, shares 7 top tips to help your managers approach difficult conversations with more confidence.

Nobody likes delivering criticism

Working with a wide range of managers of all levels, industries and sectors, I am noticing one theme time and time again; a reluctance and avoidance to have the difficult yet important conversations with their people.  As a diagnosed people pleaser, I absolutely relate to this, but what I have come to learn from my own personal development is that not having these conversations ironically makes things significantly more difficult in the long run.

Difficult topics are hard to address for a number of reasons:

• Managers may not be properly trained to do so, meaning they either avoid these conversations or manage them poorly, making the situation worse
• Managers may be busy and can find it hard to allocate the necessary time and attention to manage these discussions 
• Not knowing how people will react to the conversation can make the prospect even more daunting, especially if there is a concern about any lasting impacts on the team
• Ultimately, nobody enjoys delivering bad news or criticism, or thinking about the sadness, anger, or disappointment that it may cause

Approaching these conversations with more confidence

So, what can managers do, and what support can organisations give to help them feel more confident and capable of having these more candid conversations?

1. Prepare: Understand the issue thoroughly and try to anticipate potential questions or reactions, as these can help them feel more confident and in control. However, they should also be mindful not to let any pre-conceptions cloud their judgement.  
2. Be open and listen: Every situation includes multiple perspectives, and incorrect assumptions may be impacting certain versions of the story. Practice active listening, stay open to understanding all viewpoints, and ask coaching questions to encourage productive dialogue. Managers should also be open to feedback themselves, creating a two-way street for communication.
3. Normalise it: Create an open, supportive work environment where constructive feedback is regular and expected. This can normalise potentially difficult conversations, making them less daunting for everyone involved. 
4. Use clean language: Focus on the behaviour or issue at hand rather than the person, to avoid making the conversation feel like a personal attack.  Use clean, non-judgemental language and avoid making generalisations, instead providing specific examples to illustrate the issue, which can help the person better understand your perspective as their manager. 
5. Balance care with candour: Show commitment to your peoples’ growth and development by offering paths to improvement. Follow up after the conversation to check in on progress, offer further support, and acknowledge improvements, to help maintain a positive trajectory and reinforce the value of open, candid communication.
6. Timing: Choosing the right moment for the conversation, when both parties are calm and not preoccupied with other tasks, can make a significant difference. 
7. Training: It's helpful for organisations to train their managers on conflict resolution techniques and build their coaching skills, which can provide them with the tools to navigate challenging discussions more effectively. 

Get in touch today

To learn more about we can help you support your managers to develop inclusive leadership skills and overcome key challenges in their role, visit our website or give us a call on 01491 414010.